Hurricane Katrina's Wrath - 1:17 p.m.
While the MTV Awards was going on this Sunday how ironic was it that a few hundred miles or so away one of the biggest hurricanes on record was touching the coast of the United States. I found myself switching back and forth between the news and the awards. There is truly something that 24-hour blanket news coverage of an event does that desensitizes you to its true effects. This hurricane is a perfect example. With all the talk of the horrors of a category 5 hurricane sinking New Orleans, and the surrounding area being in just as much trouble, on Monday when it hit there seemed to be a feeling of, is that it?

Maybe it's the cameras which move from the streets to a stationary position that captures wind and rain and sometimes a reporter blowing down the street. It was until the skies cleared and people were able to look around did the damage that occurred sink in. The streets were flooded, but now that New Orleans levee system has broken down, the majority of the city is a lake. Not only have people been flooded out of their homes and cars, they have lost jobs, personal property and some lives.

Early Sunday, the mayor of New Orleans warned people that they should evacuate because this was gonna be bad. He even advised not to stay at the Superdome because the power might go out and the stadium wouldn't have any air conditioning and the humidity would make it too hot to camp out in. 10,000 + people did show up at the Dome and it got them through the storm, but his prediction was right, in some respects. The roof of the Dome was shredded on one side and during the storm water started leaking on the field and on a section of the seats. Today, the 10000 Dome people, plus an estimate 15,000 more that came after the storm, will be moved to Houston's Astrodome. The not-so-funny thing, they're being moved from one shelter to another and more than likely have no home to go back to.

Back to Sunday afternoon, it was equally crazy to see some people in the water of the beach, kids running on the sand, while a reporter is talking about the hurricane being a few hours from touching down. Another shot had this guy on a gimpy bicycle pedaling into the wind and rain with what looked like a white plastic bag of chinese food. Yo. I wanted to smack these people. These are the same folks who end up having to be rescued with all kinds of helicopters, ships and cutting through roofs the next day. More laughs, because you have to, came when a spokesman said the people that decided not to leave would have their names and information written down so that their bodies could be identified later - instant toetags.

On further thought, you have to think that some of these people weren't paying the danger any mind; some of them have no cars or have health problems which would make it hard - damn, near impossible - to go on a trek to some undetermined point; some just don't want to leave their belongings behind -- these are the people that stay and curl up as the wind smacks against the windows. Even if they had three days warning, they would have done the same thing. Still, it's gotta be frustrating to those in charge to have to rescue people from places they were told not to be in the first place.

After the hurricane passed, MSNBC had a tape loop of 'our people' swimming in the waters outside their houses, jumping up and down in the water, etc. Understandably they were happy to make it through with their hearts still beating, but it seemed like a bad TV moment. Then yesterday afternoon news of looting started to circulate. Time for free stuff. Again, I'm looking for reason here. There is no water or food to be had in the town, not like a store is gonna open up anytime soon.. and if you don't have cash, can't go down to the ATM, how do you pay for anything in the first place? With that in mind, preventing dehydration or starving to death, some of the looting is understandable. I'd be grabbing the Poland Spring and canned food too. A lot of the looting they're showing on TV doesn't seem to be about that at all. Mofos running through Walgreens and WalMart filling up carts and smiling and laughing for the cameras.. some real dummies.

And naturally, clothes, TVs, and other goodies are being thrown on their backs to be stored away, in some dry place, for another time. Maybe they float out of state to visit Auntie Jean with gifts in hand, because in New Orleans there won't be power for weeks, maybe months. Gotta admit there would be the temptation for a nice flat screen, but reason and the reality of the situation around you has to take over. Some of the overhead and neighborhood pictures look like something out of War of the Worlds. Remember that scene when Tom Cruise walked outside his house after the aliens ripped up his wife's neighborhood?

There is really no way that words can make the impact of this hurricane come to life. If you weren't affected by it, you'll feel it at the gas pump. The New Orleans area is also home to oil refining plants which will push gas prices even higher than they've been. $3.40 is nothing that I want to be paying, but it's a small price compared to those that have lost a whole lot more.

Demonstrating the way that the web continues to connects people, there are already sites set up for people looking for missing loved ones, aid, etc.

There is a Hurricane Katrina Wiki
A missing persons board on Now Public
And a lot of blogs.. but sometimes, in cases like this, pictures are what we want.. nola.com has a page full of links.

With all of that said.. Does this mean the end of the New Orleans rap scene. R.I.P. Master P :)

2005 MTV Award Goodies Galore - 12:48 p.m.
Since Monday from 12:00 to 3:00 p.m. MTV has hired someone to fly a little plane with an MTV VMA 2005 Awards banner around the island of Manhattan - more popularly known as New York City. From my office I can see the thing buzzing around. It travels from the Harlem edge of Central Park, goes down to Wall Street, kisses the East River and back over the Hudson River which separates New York and New Jersey. Your looking at the Hudson River trip, on the horizon is New Jerz.

After snapping this picture, I went to grab some of the best chicken parmigian I've had in a long time - Deli-Plus gets recommends: cheap name, cheap prices, good food ;! - But I'm on the street surrounded by skyscrapers and I'm thinking who the hell can actually see that banner flapping away at 20,000 feet in the air? If the point is to promote the awards how does some crazy pilot, zipping through the sky with a banner help out? Just can't imagine anyone seeing it and thinking they need to race home to see the show. Now if this guy was doing flips and diving dangerously through Times Square like the Green Goblin in Spiderman 1, than I could see some impact being felt from the coverage they'd get on all the TV news shows - those wild MTV dudes are at it again - as it is, they get a wink from whudat. Wait a minute, that's a good thing :)

The performers and presenters on awards shows don't usually get paid, so people like MTV throw gifts at them to make them feel V.I.P.

Last year's Grammy performers took home $34,000 in goodies and Oscar bags were tagged at $150,000. Yesterday it was revealed that MTV performers, people like R. Kelly, Green Day, Mariah Carey, 50 Cent, Kanye West, The Killers, Rhianna and Ciara will receive gift bags worth $26,000. The bag itself is a custom designed Gap denim VMA creation with bronze and gold stitching. Crack it open and you've got.. pretend like you're looking in the bag.. an MTV branded Ipod shuffle, Swarovski American Coutore t-shirts, a Fredericks of Hollywood herringbone tweed and velvet corset, Givenchy perfume, Taryn Rose ballet shoes(?!?), Missoni sunglasses, an exclusive Sean John t-shirt, six months of Dean Markley guitar strings, a six-month Sports Club gym membership, Shu Uemura makeup, a Willie Wonka golden ticket redeemable for an unlimited supply of Nestle Wonka candy, an orange vinyl Paul Frank watch, Jose Cuervo limited-edition tequila, Pepsi branded Bose headphones, a 2-year Blockbuster Online membership, a two-night stay at The Palms Hotel and.. actually this is the craziest thing in the bag and ironically for some artists, the most useful.. a $1000 gift certifcate for a session with life coach Sherri Ziff Lester.

Add in some CDs and DVDs and you've got a good example of what fame can get you - a whole lot of free shit. Forget cashing in on record sales, the cash register really rings with everything else a popular face affords you. The ballet shoes are bizarre, but I'd be really mad at the Ipod shuffle. What the hell is that, the budget model? Pumping regular gas in the Mercedes? That's something that will get passed on to the interns.

MTV probably comes out on top in this deal, because they don't pay the artists and more than likely get the goodies at a huge discount, if not for free. Who wouldn't want their products in one those bags? Especially if they're in the hands of hip-hop and r&b artists. When they get to liking something it somehow finds it's way into a song.. look out for the Missoni sunglass reference in a month or two.

Batmen aka Everyone's Gay - 10:58 a.m.
I could barely escape laughing when I read Huh?'s comment about Bush's vacation and Cindy Sheehan being less important than "all the current events of the world," items like Kanye West saying stop the gay bashing and Eddie Murphy getting divorced over alleged gay activities.

You'd be all fucked up on the debate team making comparisons like that; keeping you up to date, I thought I'd let you know that Batman and Robin are also gay. They play tongue hockey and rub each other's bare butt cheeks with strawberry oil on the weekends. Check the pic for evidence. Young Robin is all worked up while Batman tweaks that nipple.. "You like that don't you Robbie? You lil bitch. I'm gonna work you over tonight."

Ah, yes. The gossip trail has been burning for a few weeks about Eddie Murphy's wife catching him and Johnny Gill in bed.. or was it that she found transsexual pornongraphy on his computer.. or was she just fed up with Johnny being in the house all the time? And was Sugar Ray Leonard somehow involved?.. What about that 199x tabloid story about Eddie Murphy kissing a transsexual's feet and moaning while he did so? Let's not forget that Black Hollywood is filled with lots of brothas and sisters on the DL. There's a message by an anonymous person that has been posted on a whole stack of message boards and emailed around the world that suggests Will Smith, The Wayans Brothers, Eve, Duane Martin and a bunch more are all gay.

I'm all for the celebrity gossip, can't help but escape it, but does it matter whether Eddie Murphy is gay or not? I could give a damn. But it is slightly disturbing to hear that one of the funniest men ever might be playing naked licorice stick twister under the sheets. It's not something you want to hear or believe.

Nothing worse than running from the truth. The official story "irreconcilable differences" is useless, so I made my way to the message boards last night for an update, what are people talking about with this Eddie thing. I have to tell you I did learn something I didn't know. The transvestite prostitute that Eddie Murphy just happened to pick up because he's a nice guy, was killed a year later. Good ol.. "I got a special surprise under this dress" was found dead in the street after apparently being locked out of its apartment. Dressed in a bra and panties, he/she attempted to swing from the roof into an open window. Sounds absolutely crazy, right? Before you think about hitmen for hire, this article says it may have been shady johns.

Then it was back to the message boards. I'll tell you, after going through six or seven pages, I was dizzy with the amount of unsubstantiated claims made that are taken as the truth. All it takes is one person to say.. I'm in the industry and I saw blah, blah, hugged up with this one and they told me that this guy is fucking the other guy's wife and the limo driver is invited in the house for threesomes. That's how I found out, through the limo company dispatcher's cousin's intern who is working at the office. Actually.. that's way too much verification.. mostly it's just that the person knows it's true and that's it.

I'm sure mufuckas are getting their weird sex lives poppin, but the bloodthirst surrounding the shit is more revolting than anything else. Also there seems to be a little bit of hypocrisy when you trash an actress for sleeping around Hollywood or with athletes and music artists, and then you're screen name is Sexymama or Lil Fat Ass. And then once the person is done for, they look for other people that seem happy.. wasn't there gay rumors about them.. I heard she slept with so and so..

This is not a case against gossip. The shit is like candy, it goes down easy and it's hard to eat just one.. but to only eat gossip and only want that.. it's not what I've ever done.. and won't. I must say that the two post days balanced the blurbs out.. maybe I'll get back to that, along with links to stories I don't have time to write about, but am aware of.. keeping an eye on the heat.. You know. In that vein, Eddie Murphy's latest move is finding a director for Norbit, a movie he wrote with his brother, Charlie Murphy.. 'a meek guy who is pressed into marrying a monstrous woman (also played by Murphy). When he finally meets the woman of his dreams, he has to figure out a way to be with her.' Dressing up as a woman? Not exactly the best look, right now. But this duet with Chris Rock sounds promising. That link is to Entertainment Weekly's new blog.. notice the tagline.. "Keeping an eye on pop culture" - I'm not claiming robbery, but if that's not the 'white' translation I don't know what is.

President Bush says.. I've Got a Life to Live" - 1:56 p.m.
On August 2nd President Bush began a five-week vacation at his ranch in Crawford, Texas. Every man and woman could use some vacation time, but for arguably the most important job in the United States, Bush will have taken the longest vacation in 36 years. The Washington Post says that he has spent 319 days (20%) of his presidency at the Crawford ranch. This will be the 49th trip to his Texas hideout.

The critics.. say that it shows his lackadaisical approach to his job. Supporters respond saying Bush stays on top of things while he's at the ranch, it's not like he's cutoff from the world. To give that impression, he has several public appearances scheduled throughout the five week stay. This afternoon he'll speak in republican friendly Utah to state the importance of staying the course in Iraq. Then it's back to the ranch, where he'll make sure to stay clear of that Cindy Sheehan character.

I'm sure you've heard of Cindy Sheehan aka The Peace Mom. If not here's a brief rundown. Her son joined the army before 9/11, in May 2000. He re-enlisted in 2003 and was killed in action on April 4, 2004 - five days after arriving in Sadr City, Iraq. He'd volunteered for a rescue mission in which he and other soldiers were killed.

Bush met with Cindy Sheehan and other grieving moms on June 24, 2004, two months after her son's death. Sheehan has always expressed concerns over the justification for going to war, but has reportedly said she believes that Bush wants to free the Iraqi people. But when part of the cost is her son's life, she wonders if it's really worth it. Sheehan has asked to meet with Bush a second time to discuss the cause for the war.

During a June 2005 interview Sheehan said Bush showed little compassion during the first meeting, basically treating it as just another thing on his calendar. The Lewis News reports: "Instead of a kind gesture or a warm handshake, Sheehan said she immediately got a taste of Bush arrogance when he entered the room and "in a condescending tone and with a disgusting loud Texas accent," said: "Who we’all honorin’ here today?" "His mouth kept moving, but there was nothing in his eyes or anything else about him that showed me he really cared or had any real compassion at all. This is a human being totally disconnected from humanity and reality. His eyes were empty, hollow shells and he was acting like I should be proud to just be in his presence when it was my son who died for his illegal war! It was one of the most disgusting experiences I ever had and it took me almost a year to even talk about it."

As of this date Bush has refused to meet with her a second time. Sheehan decided to set up Camp Casey (named after her son) a few miles from Bush's ranch until he agrees to meet with her. I know, a few miles? You've got to think you can only get so close before the snipers lay you down. Haha! Sheehan may have been looking to draw the media's attention to the situation, more than believing that Bush would hop on his bike to chat. Too bad he's so ignorant about not talking to his critics, Sheehan has received more media coverage than she could have imagined, all because he takes the attitude of.. if you're gonna ask me tough questions don't bother flapping your lips when I'm in the room.

On August 6th, Bush sent two "high-ranking" officials - National Security Adviser Stephen Hadley and deputy White House Chief of Staff Joe Hagin, to meet with Sheehan. They spoke for 45 minutes but Sheehan wasn't moved, "I think they thought I'd be very impressed and intimidated that these two high-level officials came to talk to this little grieving mother, and that I'd leave."

On August 11th, Bush gave a press conference where he said: "I sympathize with Mrs. Sheehan. She feels strongly about her position, and she has every right in the world to say what she believes. This is America. She has a right to her position, and I thought long and hard about her position. I've heard her position from others, which is: 'Get out of Iraq now.' And it would be a mistake for the security of this country and the ability to lay the foundations for peace in the long run if we were to do so."

Two days later, on August 13th, I guess he was done thinking about it. As he prepared for some bicycle riding, he broke it down like this: "I think it's important for me to be thoughtful and sensitive to those who have got something to say. But I think it's also important for me to go on with my life, to keep a balanced life ... I think the people want the president to be in a position to make good, crisp decisions and to stay healthy. And part of my being is to be outside exercising. So I'm mindful of what goes on around me. On the other hand, I'm also mindful that I've got a life to live and will do so."

With that he rode off. CNN got a hold of a list of books he's reading at the ranch. Apparently he's moved on from My Pet Goat.. I'm thinking the list is crap and someone should test him on them.
"The Great Influenza: The Epic Story of the Deadliest Plague in History"
"Salt: A World History"
and "Alexander II: The Last Great Tsar"

No "Pieces to Weight"? No "Confessions of a Video Vixen"? What the hell is wrong with this man?

50's "From Pieces to Weight" - 1:45 p.m.
Last week MTV books released 50's autobiography From Pieces to Weight. I've got two bookshelves stuffed shelf to shelf with books by everyone from Miles Davis to Ralph Ellison, from William Gibson to Aldous Huxley, Nicolas Pileggi to Assata Shakur. The range of subjects is all over the place. There's one shelf that holds autobiographies of entertainment greats of the hip-hop era. Russell Simmons' book is there - autographed and everything :. LL Cool J's, Chuck D, one of the many Tupac books, etc. etc. Jay-Z and Puff's will be added to the batch. If you would have asked me a month ago if I was gonna buy 50's book, man, that would've been a laugh in your face moment. What could he possibly write about with the short time he's been in the business?

I walked into Virgin Megastore, for my weekly breeze-through and literally bumped into a mountain of books placed in the front of the store. There were three other people at the table. Hey, no harm in flipping through it right? I've got to tell you, more than a few pages got my interest. There are some excerpts posted on MTV and a few other sites, but from reading the book I can tell you, they seem to skip over the meat and get straight to the gravy - guns, violence, the stuff you'd expect from him. What got my attention, and twenty bucks, was the introduction. He explains his reason for writing the book:

"I feel like I have to tell my story while I can. I'm only twenty-nine years old. To a lot of people, I may be too young to reflect on life. And they may be right. But I'd be wasting my blessings and opportunities if I didn't use the attention I'm getting right now to shed light on the experiences that have caused me to think, say the things I say, and make the kind of music I make."

That was on the second page, the shed light part made me go, hmmm.. I went to the beginning of the chapter.

"Get Rich or Die Tryin'. When I say that everyone focuses on the negative aspects: death, desperation, depression. But you know what? Everybody, from the guy who gets up to punch a clock every day to the kid standing on the corner, is trying to get rich before they die. The guy punching the clock is probably going to night school or has a hustle on the side or some dream he's working on. Why? To get rich. The kid who picks up a bag of drugs to sell is the same way. He's out there in the entrepreneurial spirit, hustling, trying to get rich. That kid just doesn't want to work for anybody - he wants to work for himself. It's just that he has the wrong direction at that point in his life."

"All at the same time, he's trying to get rich, just like the guy punching a clock, the old man driving a cab, the kid going to college to get his degree, the girl waiting tables at the restaurant. It's all about back to getting rich - or trying to do so. This is nothing new. You can find pretty much the same sentiments in all sorts of philosophies - Samurai codes and shit like that. If Confucius says it, it's wisdom. But when 50 Cent says it, he's being negative."

50's referencing Confucius?!? Odd shit like that made me want to read the thing. Two days later I was finished and truly came away with a better understanding of who he is.

Before reading the book, 50's comments about his environment being the reason for who he is, what he does, came off as tired.. Like, "We get it! You grew up in the hood. Big fucking deal!" After page 223, it actually makes sense. When you think about the fact that the things most impressed on kids at an early age becomes a large part of who they become as adults, then his stories of having a mother, family members and their friends who made street life look normal to a kid of 5 - 6 years old, matches up with his constant "my environment" references and making his first transaction at 11-years-old. It's never said as an excuse, but as an explanation.

He went from that first sale to dealing on his own and relating with other hustlers enough to get a reputation and afford two cars and two motorcycles. Nothing kingpin or Tony Montanish. But reading how he went from boxing to street fights, to his time in shock camp for that "3-9", you see how it all folds into his personality today. Listen to the early mixtapes, the stuff he says all rings true. Beyond street talk, he has lines about his son's mother that match up to stories in the book he tells about the problems they had. Listen to Get Rich or Die Tryin and you'll hear how hungry he sounds. That truth and emotion is what's missing from the new album, but that's another story.

His ambition to become a rapper came from not wanting his son to follow his path and realizing that it might be a better option than the street. Although if things hadn't worked out with the music he would've been back on the block.. and more than likely dead. His penchant for talking shit and dismissing people led to him getting shot by approval from "The Godfather" running his hood. Nothing to do with Ja Rule. One thing I wondered about was the use of real events, fictitious names, but real people, real events. He talked about actual murders that took place. Some of them were in the news. To me snitching involves revealing things that people don't know about, to people who shouldn't know about them, that could get the person(s) in trouble. Persons that are considered friends, family or parts of your organization. Don't know if he did that, but at the beginning of the book he mentions the importance of not snitching. That's why he used fake names, but it wouldn't be rocket science for anyone with the least bit of knowledge of the area to know who he's talking about. I wouldn't be surprised if the word on the street is he said things he shouldn't have.

The book goes from his youth to the birth of Get Rich or Die Tryin and makes for an interesting read, because of the truth involved. I know when he mentioned coming home from the shock camp and Biggie's album being an inspiration for him wanting to rap, I had to check to see when that arrest happened. The court documents are dated June 1994, he did six months. Biggie's first album dropped in 94. It matches up. We'll see how well this all translates to the big screen.. You know, Get Rich or Die Tryin' aka 50's 8 Mile hits theatres in November, co-starring Terrance Howard. The screenplay was written by a writer from The Sopranos, so at the minimum there should be room for a sequel.. Gotdamn Sopranos. They are always leaving storylines open.. What happened to the Russian in the woods?

Jackson Jurors Get Their Shakespeare On - 1:35 p.m.
This just in: Michael Jackson has been found guilty on all ten counts! Jackson passed out when court officers attempted to put handcuffs on him for immediate incarceration. There was uproar outside the courthouse as Jackson supporters cried, this is some bull. Free Mike t-shirts hit the web the next hour. FOX TV reporters smacked high fives and ranted on about getting OJ back in court. That would be like capturing Bin Laden. Of course none of that actually happened, but it could have had things played out according to Eleanor Cook's plans.

Last week a news item circulated about two of the Jackson trial jurors who believed that MJ was guilty; due to craziness during the deliberation process they voted against their beliefs. All the sordid details would be told in books set to be released in a few months.

Last night the jurors, Eleanor Cook and Ray Hultman were on MSNBC's Live and Direct to speak on the situation for the first time. So what happened?

Eleanor Cook said during the trial the jury was like a big family, laughing, joking and getting along. When it came time to deliberate she thought everyone was on the same page - guilty. Maybe not. In the first vote there were only three guilty verdicts, her, Ray and another juror. Eleanor said she told the group that she wasn't going to change her vote, which got immediate looks of disapproval from the other jurors. Daggers.. so much hatred.. is how she described it. This is the same woman during the post-verdict interview who spoke about the boy's mother with the infamous line, "Don't go pointing at me lady."

She refused to budge on her verdict, and didn't want to talk about it. The foreman said he would have her kicked off the jury if she refused to talk about their disagreements in the case. She didn't want that, so she settled down. Ray Hultman basically said the same thing, that he hadn't come that far to have a hung jury or possibly get tossed. Eleanor said she thought the boy had been touched but that he might have enjoyed being "Michael Jackson's toy." She said the boy was being manipulated somewhat by his mother to prosecute the case, and that Macaulay Culkin, Michael Jackson's baby momma and a few other witnesses were paid off. Despite this, she and Ray folded under the pressure to vote not guilty.

Eleanor Cook said she felt sorry for what doing so and felt for Michael Jackson's mother because she had a very sick son, but she could understand her supporting him because that's what any good mother would do. Eleanor Cook's book is called "Guilty as Sin, Free As a Bird." Ray Hultman.. hmm.. he didn't say much. He kinda mumbled something every now and then.. his book is called "The Deliberator." Tonight the third juror will be on Live and Direct. She's not writing a book.

It's funny that during the post-verdict interview these two jurors were among the most talkative in favor of the verdict. Eleanor who said she felt so much hatred from the other jurors, mentioned the boy's mother being a bad witness and on the other hand said she had found friends for life among the other jurors. Ray said he thought there was reasonable doubt in the case, mentioning the boy's mother as well. Yet, now they want to write these books about how they don't believe Michael should have got off. Michael Jackson's lawyer was on the show. He said if they felt that Michael was guilty they could have voted for that on any of the ten counts.

I believe if they felt he was guilty they should have stuck to their vote, in the least it would have been a hung jury. This wasn't some small case to be playing around with. But they didn't. The trial is over and done with, no appeals came be made, nothing more the prosecution can do. So now they sit on TV looking like the two geniuses who let Michael Jackson off the hook. And for what, because they felt pressure in the jury room? What they should have done is lived with it, zip the f-ck up and gone on with their lives. But then that phones rings.. How would you like to make a ˝ million dollars?

I don't know how much they got for their books, but I have no doubt that whatever it was the money played a big part in their decision to come forward.

The other jurors have come out saying that these two have changed their tone since the trial. That Ray Hultman in particular came around to the not guilty side pretty early in the deliberation process. The third juror will be on Live and Direct tonight.

Foxy Brown Says, "I'm Not Guilty!" - 1:41 p.m.
On August 29, 2004 Foxy Brown aka Ms. Inga Marchand pulled up to Bloomie's Nail Salon on West 23rd Street, NY for a pedicure and manicure. She got her toes touched up, but two employees Myoung Yi and Sun Ji Song claim that it was late, so they refused to give her a manicure. Foxy says she paid them for the pedicure, ready to go about her business when Yi and Song asked why she didn't pay them the full amount. They wanted $20 more for the manicure. Foxy says she only got a pedicure, so that's what she paid for.

As Foxy attempted to leave the salon they blocked the door. Little did they know that you don't piss of Foxy Brown, allegedly she's good for spitting on the help. Remember that incident in a North Carolina hotel? That was years ago but the girl still has skills. Yi and Song say Foxy hit one of them with a cellphone, followed by a swift kick to the body. The other woman must have let her homie catch a bad one, but she didn't get away, Foxy reached over and smacked her in the face as well. Foxy left the store and soon enough the story was on the 10'oclock news.

On April 11, 2005, facing one year on misdemeanor assault charges, Foxy Brown plead not guilty. She claimed that she didn't hit anyone; her lawyer went further saying it was just an attempt to get money from a celebrity. "This will never deter me," Foxy insisted. "I'm much too focused and driven, and justice will prevail. We'll have our day." In May 2005 she was offered a plea bargain in exchange for 10 days of community service. She turned it down.

This past Friday, Foxy was in court for a second time, they offered her the same deal, she gave them the same answer, "If I didn't hit that bitch, I ain't copping to shit"… or something like that.(R.I.P. Johnnie C.) Her lawyer, Joseph Tacopina says the 10 days of community service is all well and good, but she doesn't want any misdemeanors on her record. He wants the charges reduced, "Disorderly conduct is a different ball of wax. That's a violation and she would not have a record." They'll be back in court on September 22nd.

It would be pretty nasty if turning down community service results in Foxy sitting in a cell next to Lil Kim for a year. They've had their disagreements over the years; for the most part those beefs have been relegated to slick comments during interviews. There haven't been any face to face encounters. That probably won't happen, but it'd be nice to see them settle their differences in the prison yard. Sharpened tooth brushes, wild untended hair weaves, real breasts against hard balloon tits. That would make for some great pay-per view action.

Mo'Nique Gives the Big Girls a "Fat Chance" - 1:48 p.m.
About two weeks ago, on the morning subway ride to work, this woman gets on the train who was a good 350 - 400 pounds. No kidding, this chick was huge. As she's entering the train another woman gets out of her seat to leave. Flubber stumbles over to grab the empty spot, one of those two-person seats. As she made her way to the spot, I'm thinking this woman is gonna fill that thing by herself. Sure enough you couldn't squeeze a hand between her and the wall. Just made it. Any tighter any she'd need a spatula to tuck in the extra love. The train begins to move and before it can reach the next stop - less than 2 minutes - this woman breaks out some kind of snack bar. "Oh, no she didn't!" I don't walk around saying that, but it damn sure applies. It's 8:30 in the morning and she's already snacking. This woman sitting across from her is looking at her in disgust. Guess the fat chick was used to the stares cause all her attention was on ripping the wrapper off of that snack. Oh.. now I remember what it was.. a bag of chips. That's what made it even more of a violation. Extra fat and early morning - there was no need to be eating that crap.

Then the train hits a rough spot and she literally grabbed the armrest because her fat was shaking so much she was about to fall off the seat. No jokes. Wish I had a tiny video camera to snatch that scene up it would have been an internet classic.

I'm talking fat stuff only because Mo'Nique's new show "Fat Chance" debuts tomorrow night at 8 PM on the Oxygen channel. I thought this was another reality show, but it's a beauty pageant for the big girls. Mo'nique and her 'big girls are beautiful' rants can be annoying, only because a lot of times the things she says fat girls can tuck in their pockets as excuses to be fat. It's one thing to be overweight or a naturally big girl, some of those chicks are cute, dare I say beautiful, but there is the other side where a person hides their problems in the sweet delight of a pint of ice cream and then another pint and then another, all in the same night. That person will listen to Mo'Nique say things like, "Our society has put the message out there that fat is bad. Fat is wrong. It's like, 'guys, 'what are you saying?' Everyday people are dying and I guarantee you not all of them are fat. I promise you not all of them are fat." While they're nodding their head in agreement they'll block out the part where she says, "Promote being healthy." Who wants to hear that? Hell, even skinny people don't want to hear that, but that extra weight definitely plays a part in bad health. There is just more places for the cholesterol buggies to hang out at.

The beauty part.. like I said, there are some cute big girls. Wire image has a gallery of some of the contestants. I'm putting Joanne Borgella and Chelsea Burrell in the cute girl category. Don't even bother trying to enlarge the pictures, unless you plan on registering. I used the squint, five-inches from monitor technique. At the bottom of the page you'll see Shaq. The big man is one of the judges.

If you want more NPR interviewed Mo"Nique yesterday. The listen link is underneath the headline. It's where I got that quote from.

Charlie Murphy Says The Dave Chappelle Show is Finished - 12:50 p.m.
I don't think anyone truly believes The Dave Chappelle Show will be return for a third season. There still has been no official cancellation, ask Charlie Murphy though, he'll tell you it's a wrap. "I don't think he's doing it anymore," Murphy told the NY Post. "We shot about eight shows for the third season and they're hilarious." .. Can we chew on that for a minute? How is the show on hold if they have eight completed shows? That's a season right there. The gotdamn Sopranos, they disappear for two years and come back like they're doing someone a favor with .. seven to eight shows. That stinks for a series with a continuing storyline, but for the two months that it's on it's great. Dave is working with skits and performances, eight shows would be perfect.

Murphy went further describing one of the new skits called Monsters Inc., "I was Frankenstein, Dave was The Wolfman, Donnell was The Mummy. We were living together and experiencing problems, because we're monsters. But I thought it was because I was black that all these things were happening, not because I was Frankenstein. It was fun, very normal."

Although Comedy Central has yet to hear from Dave ("If you see him, tell him to phone home" - Doug Herzog, Comedy Central president) the fate of the season is still in his hands. Which proves the C.R.E.A.M. economic theory; the Season 2 DVD continues to fly off the shelves. One store in the city actually raised the price when they realized that it was hot. Until Dave is tagged a certified loon, no way Comedy Central will make him a free agent and have future DVD season cash end up in someone else's pocket.

Charlie Murphy mentioned that Dave has been working on stand up material; he might want to do a comedy tour instead of the show. What happens to those eight shows? Murphy said, "They'll be released on DVD, I'm sure. But that's it." That's right, just in time for Christmas, Dave Chappelle: The Lost in Africa Collection.