You know what I do whenever I feel my mind wandering around in the Valley of Goo - that realm of consciousness where the foot of your soul takes one step into a sticky mess called doubt?
I go take a shit.
I'm talking about whenever I feel like I have run out of ideas... I'll run right into the bathroom. It never ever fails. And it doesn't even have to be the hard stuff, it could be the salty lemonade.There is just something about relieving myself of the body's natural waste products that seems to open up room in my head.
That's my tip for the day. Shit plenty. Vent often. Get it out.
And now.. The Matrix
Flip.
Pink and orange spectrum colored skies. Clouds of dark grey complexion floated across the horizon. In the distance you could hear the rumbling of something, the cold machinery of industrialization taking place.
It was official. I was tripping.
I think they called it benophynothialine in The Neuromancer. And that's what it said on the cellophane wrapper. Strange because Neuromancer was a book, a world created from William Gibson's prophetic futuristic thinking, and there it was right in my face.
Henni called it Sponge cause he said after taking the small pill, you'd soak up everything around you, your senses would be more alert and you'd want to get into something... you know get your f- on.
I saw the commercials back in the 80's "this is your brain on drugs." Two eggs sunny side up, sizzling in swine juice.
"Try one of these." Henni said.
Henni was the type of guy who would try anything, not giving a fuck about the consequences. And he stayed high. I knew he had a problem, but he was a friend from childhood. Everytime I saw him he had a black charred tube in his pocket, looked like a crack pipe, but he was a little more organic, more of a weed head.
"Fuc is this?" I replied.
"I got it from this kid uptown. he said it would make you want to fuck all night, it's like ecstasy, but this is the new shit."
"I'm not taking that shit, man, get out of here. You be on that bullshit. One day you gonna cough up a piece of lung, just HEGHh right in your hand.... you know how they make that?"
He wasn't listening.
"Some kid sits in his basement, like a mad scientist, mixing chemicals together... taking baking soda, tylenol, ...rat poison, whatever, and gives it to your dumb ass. You gonna cough up something for real. I aint taking that. I sell to people like you, son."
Henni.. with Heineken on his breath said, "nigga you crazy."
I had to laugh. He just didn't get it. Stupid.
"Look, give me a half a piece. I'll show you how fucked up it is."
I flipped out my house keys and filed away at the edge of the white pill, which was about the size of a dime. The pill crumbled into a fine white powder. It reminded me of when momma used to crumble up those nasty cold pills and vitamins and put them in a spoon full of orange juice to make it go down easier, so I picked up the bottle of iced tea I had and tossed the white stuff into it.
"Here take this." I gave him the rest of the pill. I wasn't gonna take the whole thing.
"I'm gonna show you how stupid you are" I said.
Henni had a mischievous smile on his face and as I swallowed the lemony bittersweet mixture, I began to think that somehow he had won this little game because despite my intial protest I had taken the pill...
Truthfully, I didn't know what to expect or what I hoped to prove. It was too late though because a couple of seconds later I felt my stomach bubble, hic up, and then I burped.
We were in the park. One of those days when you could get away with either wearing a jacket or not. I had on a long sleeve black shirt and jeans. Henni sitting on my left, took out his glass tube and poured a nugget of sticky brown grass into his hand. I told you he was a weed head.
"You gonna take the rest of this?" I said, talking about the other half of the pill.
"Nah, man I wanted you to try it. I'm bout to roll up, son. Nyway, son, you just said I was crazy for wanting to take it, son. Show me why. You the one who took it."
Confirmed. I felt stupid now. Why did I take this stuff, even if it was a little bit. What was I trying to prove, I thought again...
My tongue started to swell up in my mouth - that's what it felt like - so with my tongue pressed up against the roof of my mouth I started to unconsciously open and close it like I was chewing a piece of winterfresh gum .
Henni wasn't even looking. To busy with his custom cigarette.
My ears started to get hot and I felt a warm feeling flush through my body. I think something was starting to happen.
My brain, fuzzy like bad reception on a tv, started to run on auto pilot as confused rantings formed in my thoughts...
Ever clear memories of a past that I can't quite remember, but can touch through the visons that ravage my sleep. A mountain of knowledge placed before me in a riddle inside of a box inside of a bizarre dream...
I blacked out.
It wasn't long but long enough to know that I had skipped a beat in the continuum of time.
"Son this is blazing, hit this."
Henni hadn't noticed that I was not normal.
"Naw, I'm alright" I managed to get out.
I don't know what was in that pill, but the little bit I put in my drink had my mind warping back and forth between the present and a zone where my brain would cease to function. Normal thought would just stop and another reality would take it's place.
Henni finished half of the blunt, put the rest in his tube and suggested that we head to the subway, take a trip down to Times Square.
Yeah thats what I need, to get some air, walk around, I thought.
"Alright."
Henni noticed that I wasn't saying much. I was to busy trying to figure out what was happening to me, this wasn't no normal high... just what I told him.
"Sup with you man. That shit do anything? I told you it don't do nothing but make you horny.. when we get to 42nd I'm gonna call these chicks that live uptown. They some tricks son, we could switch up on em' and all that, they be on some orgy shit."
I didn't respond because as we crossed the street everything froze. I looked over at Henni as we were walking, but his legs weren't moving, neither were mine. I turned my head and everything shifted and stopped again, like hitting frame advance on a dvd player.
Henni was running on about "dem hoes uptown" when I tripped and fell in the middle of the street. I looked up and headed in my direction was a car with high beams on coming fast, he honked his horn which sounded like an elephants roar to my ears and screeched to a stop.. an arms length away from my head.
"Ha, Ha, ha.... you ahite son?" Henni said.
"Hell no man that shit got me tripping (literally). I told you.. it.. " I couldn't think. "...it was that bullshit."
"Are you okay.. I didn't see you?" the driver had more compassion than my friend, but even though I had on black how could he not see me with them bright ass headlights?
"He alright... come on man, get up." Henni said as he helped me on my feet.
My legs were rubbery. I wanted to sit back down, but you can't just pick a spot in the middle of Washington Avenue.
There was an apartment building on the corner so we made our way over there and I dropped down on the steps.
"Yo, you ain't playing son. You look fucked up."
I couldn't reply because my head was spinning like a tornado of black dust and rubbish.. my stomach was queezy and ... I blacked out ...again.
It's so easy to be cheezy, to take a bath in the milk, to take hold of a sceptre and jab it down your throat. A rabbit hopped up to me, but it was pregnant. It hopped away and I saw that it had human feet.....
When I woke up I was in Jacobi Hospital with an IV in my arm. I later found out that I had od'd on a mixture of Vicodin and LSD......
I'm gonna kick Henni's ass when I see him.
- Chris Grandison aka Nicky Pilegi
