April 4, 2003
Are you talking to me? No…are YOU talking to ME?
Yep so here I am. It's been a hot minute since I dropped some bitterness upon ya'll so I decided to come out of hiding for a brief minute to bitch and complain and just rant my ass off. Since it's been so damn long you know I've been bitchin my ass of to my man who kept begging me to just write my got dayum column, stupid dick trying to get me to shut up obviously. So now that I sit down and actually try to write to ya'll I can't even think of anything, my mind is blankin out. Oh, I got it…………….no, no someone discussed that. Hmmm, hey how bout…………. No I think they been talking bout that on some other site…O-tay I got it….for real this time bitches, scroll down…….
An Army of One
So…it's on, unless you been living under a rock for the past few weeks, you know that "Operation Iraqi Freedom" has begun. *rolls eyes* You notice how they always flip it and give the shit a positive sounding name, like war is ever a good thing. Anyhoo…all my ranting to people protesting the war is now pointless, I just have to settle for the fact that our dildo president decided to lead us into war with little help and almost no foreign support, aint shit I can do now. All ya'll idiots still protesting, yes, you….ya'll look like a bunch of fools. Ya boy Dubya aint listen to ya'll before he declared war, he sho aint gonna stop the war cuz ya'll jobless fools wanna play in traffic with homemade signs. Please cancel the candlelight vigils. It's almost over anyway. I don't agree with this war, shit doesn't make sense, but I know when to quit. The equivalent to this war is me walking down the street and bitch smackin people for no apparent reason. When you ask why I'm recklessly slappin the shit outta people, I'ma just tell you, "I'm smackin them before they smack me, I hear they might possibly have a powerful smack that they may use on me someday."
We know the gov't thinks we're a bunch of bumbling idiots, the media obviously feels the same. I like how all the news channels here in the U.S. are broadcasting how good of a job we're doing. "We're almost in Baghdad!" "We've taken Basra!" "We think we injured Saddam, we think we killed his son!" "Don't pay attention to the videos of Saddam speaking to his people, they're fake!" "Saddam is not in control of his country any longer!" News channels are showing video of us hoisting up American flags; we're seeing Iraqi dudes in the street jumpin up and down like 13-year-old bitches who just seen B2k when the Americans roll through; seeing images of injured Iraqi civilians begging us for food. One thing that keeps grating my damn nerves is when the news channels broadcast the estimated number of casualties and act shocked, putting the dead soldiers families on the air crying and shit. I agree this is sad, people dying for nonsense will forever be sad and that's my main reason in opposing this war but…ahem this is a fuckin war what did ya'll think was gonna happen? These people joined the military not expecting a war, but look, we got it.
And why the fuck are more of our people dying in helicopter crashes/accidents and not even in battle? "Yes sugar, Daddy is a hero because the pilot of the chopper couldn't see the other chopper right in front of him. He died fighting for his country." Meanwhile other news sources report numerous POW's, flicks of dead American soldiers piled in a heap in some tent, pics of Saddam in a meeting puffin on stogies and laughin it up with his people. An American soldier throwing grenades into American military tents, killing and injuring our own people. What are we supposed to believe, what are we supposed to think? Oh that's right, we're not supposed to.
Then the news channels reporting that Bush's popularity in the polls are un-wavering. Who the fuck are they polling? No one asked me or my boy Day Day, not even Pookie and 'nem. Ask me, muthafuckas, ask me. The thought of this dude getting re-elected is scary to say the least. I don't know how much more damage dude can do. Aint no time but now to tell ya'll bitches, you need to vote and stop clickin on internet polls just to get em off ya muthafuckin screen.
The truth is, we don't know the half of what's goin on over in Iraq, our president doesn't even wanna be real with us on what this war is really about: terrorism, weapons, religion, revenge from the job his "Pa" couldn't do 12 years ago, or just plain ole ego? We don't know and we never will, we will never know how many Americans and British soldiers we will lose or have already lost, the real grimy shit, the real deal…we're being "sheltered" from all that. At some points we get glimpses of our true colors, flashes of what this war is really about, but still, we'll never know the true story.
I remember NBC news reporting that oil fields and wells were burning in Iraq, yep the Iraqi people were toasting marshmallows, lighting their shit on fire. "If we can't have it, no one can" kinda shit. I don't even think Tom Brokaw took a breath before the president made a statement basically saying "Oh silly Ayyy-Rab people, don't burn that oil, it's uh your stuff and you, uh need it and stuff" *shakes head* But…this war aint about oil…right?
I was recently involved in a discussion about the war and the ignorance among people my own age is stifling. The convo went somewhat like this:
- Me: This war is a bunch of bullshit, trying to play on people's heart strings by mentioning September 11th when in reality connecting Saddam to Al-Quaeda and Osama is like pulling at straws. What the fuck is this, the six degrees of separation? The being linked in the early 80's has shit to do with right now.
- Dude 1: This is about terrorism, they have weapons of mass destruction that they could use to terrorize America and other countries.
- Me: Could use? Might use? Oh, so we know for a fact that they have these weapons and that they will use them on us? And why would they want to use them on us? You don't think they have just cause to hate our government? Maybe if our country wasn't always fuckin with other countries policies and religions, we wouldn't be hated so much. Ever think about that? This doesn't have anything to do with oil? Money? Nothing to do with this dude that squeaked his way into the presidency, that just so happens to be closely related to the dude who couldn't get control over Saddam 12 years ago? Why are we allowed to make and own weapons of mass destruction? But Iraq isn't allowed? That isn't hypocritical to you?
- Dude 2: The United States is a superpower; we can do whatever the fuck we want. If we want Iraq, we'll get it one way or another, if we want it for oil then we'll have their oil. We're a superpower.
That ended the convo, the 2 dudes walked away as if the last statement said it all. Bless this country that we can all have our own opinions and voice them whenever we want but I know it aint only me that wants to slap the taste out the mouths of people like the ones I encountered above. I guess it boils down to who buys into what they hear and read and who wants to go through life believing the things that come out of the mouths of our government officials. Since,
We the People means nada these days and we have no real say in what goes on, all we can do is watch our economy plummet even farther into the ditches of hell, watch innocent people die on national TV and hope our military a safe journey. Cuz…you know…we're a superpower, we can do whatever we want.
*Shrugs*
My Neck my back…the saga continues
Ya'll know I had surgery last October and I'm milking my cripple-ness to it's full extent. Don't get me wrong, I'm on restricted activity, I can do more things than I used to, but some things I still can't and shouldn't be doing. That don't mean I,ma stop ordering my man to rub my feet or make him wash dishes when I don't feel like it. I've decided that my doctor said I shouldn't wash dishes or do laundry…ever, ever again. No one believes me on that one YET, they're thinking I'm just trying to be lazy with a made up cause (me do that? Never!!) but I'm working on em.
Over the past few months, there's been days that I wanted to call my neurosurgeon up and curse his old ass out, ask him what the fuck he did to my back then stab him in his own. The pain aint gone, don't know when or if it will be completely gone. Waking up in the morning still aint fun, it's downright painful for about an hour after I wake up, walking through a mall is like torture, and bending over aint as smooth as it used to be either…get ya'll heads out the gutter… I mean bending over to pick things up. I gotta admit that the pain is less than before surgery and that I wouldn't even be able to sit here typing to ya'll if I hadn't went through with it, but fuckity, fuck, fuck, I want this completely gone.
I've talked to my doc a few times since surgery and he assures me the damaged nerves are still healing and that this surgery isn't a quick fix that makes you 100% back to like you were before. It's just to relieve the pain and allows things to heal so you can live a normal life but you know what, what if I fuckin want a quick fix? Don't make me cut ya nugguh, you know I will. I'm out of the Vicodin, been off it for a while, unfortunately. I feel like Pookie in New Jack City sometimes, tearing cushions off the couch and rummaging through old pill bottles in the hopes that I stashed some meds away for a rainy day. I shoulda conserved the shit a lil better, cut some in half and stuck em in old packages of Chips Ahoy cookies and inside the ice cube trays. My doc seems to think I'll heal better without the drugs, but he also said my back would be a lot better after surgery. I can't take that nugguh word for shit, I should find out where he lives.
School Girl
In other news, ya girl is thinking about goin back to college. Yup, I sent away for the handbook and materials…again. I've done this about 3 times now, got the idea in my dome, dialed the phone number, logged onto the website and sent away for info, then as soon as the fat ass hairy mailman throws my shit in the box, I change my mind. I'm trying to keep the uh dream alive this time but it's damn hell hard.
So this time I actually ripped open the envelope and took a look at the shit. Hmmm I still don't know. Do I really wanna do school work again? Can I sit in a stuffy classroom for an hour or two listening to some underpaid, social degenerate-on-the-brink-of-a-breakdown college professor drone on and on about nonsensical shit while he adjusts his hair piece and stares at the female students that are half his age breasts? Will I be able to restrain myself from getting loud and bitching someone out?
I took a quick peek at the practice tests and now I feel old as hell. On the one test, I got 2 wrong, woo-hoo, I'm a genius. Now the other test…the math test…I felt like maybe I should buy a helmet, a drool bib and call for the short bus.
*smacks forehead* I just didn't feel too confident after taking that damn practice test. Math was always one of my problem subjects. I never really tried to understand it past 8th grade. Why? I was having too much fun bitching about how "we'll never use this shit in real life, I don't know why we're learning it." In my spare math class time I was busy runnin my mouth, writing sexy notes and intentionally throwing shit on the floor in front of the dude that looked like Devante of Jodeci so I could bend down and pick it up. So it's still up in the air. I'm questioning whether or not I can do it and if I even fuckin want to.
"Booooooooo! Get off the Runway Bitch"
A recent trip to the mall inspired me to talk shit about this… Now people I know we like to look good, who doesn't? But by no means does this mean you should be parading round the mall in some Manolo Timbs that cost more than your whole life is worth and that your skank ass can hardly even walk in. I seen a bitch thinking she was on some runway, only thing was her boots had 4-inch heel and the shits were bending at the ankles. Every 2 or 3 steps the bitch would stumble, then she would catch herself. As if almost falling on her grill was done on purpose. Like, "What? I was just messin around bout falling nugguh, whatchu thought?"
*sucks teeth and rolls neck*
Now this made for an entertaining sight but the realness of how far people will go just made me bitter. If you can't walk in 3 - 4 inch heels…just don't. I don't care if J.Lo can. I don't care if you look good while standing still. To let you know the truth…we're all laughing at you, prolly even yo momma and ya grandmomma.
Another thing I been seeing a lot is them jeans that everybody and their momma rockin these days, the ultra worn looking joints, so called sand blasted. I don't care if that shit is in style or not, I aint spending $70 and up on a pair of jeans that appear to have already been worn for years and look like someone was giving head while kneeling in a pile of dog shit. Sand blasted, shit blasted, whatever floats ya boat. I aint rockin em. My homegirl looked at me like I just told her I was part of the got dayum Taliban when I wouldn't buy some on a recent shopping trip. If your only argument is, "these shits is hot, everyone is wearin em." All you're gonna get from me is the screwface and the walkaway, maybe a head shake.
Fashion is in the eye of the beholder. I know this. BUT there's just some things that are specific no no's and I won't take it anymore!!!! Spring is hardly in the air yet and I've already bore witness to fat bubbly bitches rockin tight shirts and short skirts, bread dough stickin outta shoes and countless other fashion faux paus. I seen a girl's volleyball team rockin shorts; hoodies and shower type sandals…both with and without socks…in 40 degree weather. Dudes layering their shit like they just looked up the word layer in the dictionary or they been watched one too many videos by Memph Bleek and that non-spelling summamabitch Fabolous. A du-rag, a bandana AND an oversized fitted…just looks stupid, we're laughing at you, all of us. And just think…the season has just begun. The world is not your runway…please stop, we're all just gonna clown you.
Feelin on Yo Booty
And No I aint talking bout that pedophile with the catchy tunes…I'm talking bout what my man is about to do for me. It's bout that time…Until next time keep it bitter and talk much shit or whatever…
.
