February 14, 2005
Special Edition - The Grammys 2005
Last night the 47th annual Grammy Awards aired. I was almost looking forward to the Grammys because I figured if nothing else, it would give me something to talk about. I actually thought it would give me something to make fun of, but I was wrong. The Grammy's were the best they've been in years, in my opinion.
The Intro
The show opened with a performance by the Black Eyed Peas. They sang, "Let's
Get It Started". Of course, they looked a mess. It was just all colors and
textures everywhere. As an example, frontman Will.I.Am was wearing some
brown pinstriped knickers with a matching vest. Under the vest was a
tangerine shirt, coupled with a lime green tie and he had bright pink socks
pulled up to his knees. They all looked like clowns. The performance was
okay, but it wasn't anything special and nothing that we haven't seen from
them before. They sing/rap and jump all around the stage like a bunch of
lunatics.
They cut the song short and next up was Gwen Stefani with rapper Eve in tow. Eve looked really nice. She wore a short gold dress with the matching shoes and her hair and makeup were on point. The hair was all one color and nothing wild, per her usual. Gwen on the other hand, looked like a cross between a pirate and one of the Japanese Harajuku girls she obsesses over. Though I think that is the look she was going for, she should've gone somewhere else. She looked like a candidate for "When Bad Clothes Happen to Good People" in the back of a tabloid publication. The performance was pretty good. I think they have an amazing chemistry and I hope they continue to collaborate.
Then after they were done, those damned Black Eye Peas ran back out and continued "Let's Get It Started". I could've definitely done without that nonsense as it was a bit too redundant for my liking. After that Los Lonely Boys came out and performed their song "Heaven". I love that song and their performance was solid. They were all wearing suits and they looked really nice.
After the Lonely Boys, Maroon 5 took to the stage. They also looked nice and wore suits as opposed to their usual grungy jeans. They performed "This Love". They did okay, but I definitely felt they should have been performing something way more current than "This Love". I love Maroon 5, so I'm not complaining, I'm just saying.
Then just when things were going well, Maroon 5 began playing "Let's Get It
Started" and Will.I. Am comes out and starts singing that shit, yet again.
If I ever see him in the street, I have some words for him. I mean this dude
was just ruining the Grammys for me.
Once he departed for what I hoped would be the eighth and final time, Franz
Ferdinand came out and performed "Take Me Out". I love that song and they
also did really well. This opening segment ended with all of the acts that performed, less Gwen
and E-V-E, and I can't clearly recall right now, but I'm almost positive that
they were all out there performing the worst cacophony of "Let's Get It
Started".
Even though a certain group and their song, were a bit much for me, I definitely enjoyed the opening sequence. I was a bit nervous because the Grammy's year in and year out, leave much to be desired. I figured it could only go downhill from this point. How wrong I was.
Latifah: Your Hostess for the Evening
Queen Latifah, rapper/actress/every woman hosted the show. She began the
evening in a long, loud, red evening gown that looked much more tent-like
than dress-like. It was abominable and very unflattering to her full figure.
She looked like an oversized tomato. Her opening jokes were not funny and
she looked horrific.
Christina Milian presented an award and she looked nice. She wore a light
blue sequined dress. She was rocking the same hairstyle as Eve. The only
difference being the hair color was slightly different.
Los Lonely Boys won Best Performance By Duo or Group, which kind of pissed
me off because I feel that Maroon 5 got shafted and that was their award. I
know, who am I?
Alicia Keys
Alicia Keys performed "If I Ain't Got You" or whatever that song is called.
She wore a pretty white evening gown and her hair was long and flowing, aided
by plenty of weave. Alicia Keys did not need all of that extra hair, it
didn't blend very well, but it still looked okay. She was playing a white
piano and was accompanied by an orchestra. This performance was amazing. I
have never heard Alicia sound so passionate and soulful, ever. She hit every
note and she sounded great. She sang her little heart out and it's the best
I've ever seen or heard from her. She finished that song with a flourish and
then brought out Quincy Jones and Jamie Foxx.
Quincy directed the orchestra and Jamie sat at a second piano which was positioned directly across from Alicia's piano and they played and sang "Georgia On My Mind" as a tribute to the late great Ray Charles. This performance was outstanding and again Alicia killed it. She gets the MVP (Most Valuable Performer) award for the night. Their performance was fantastic and they received a much deserved, rousing standing ovation.
Nelly presented an award. He wore a suit. It wasn't the nicest suit I've ever seen, but I did respect the fact that he knew where he was and dressed accordingly. Prince won a couple of awards, which just made me feel people like Usher were robbed. I love Prince, but this was Usher's year, damn it! Queen Latifah changed into a black dress. It was a much better look for her and made her look 40 pounds slimmer than the red monstrosity she wore earlier in the evening. She performed a jazz standard from her latest album and she sounded impeccable. She definitely put a lot Billboard Top 100 artists to shame.
Jennifer Lopez
J-Lo and her husband Marc Anthony performed a Spanish lullabye, or something.
The performance was a more than a bit ridiculous as they had the stage set
up like a bedroom and they were being all extra dramatic. It was like a bad
Spanish musical or something. Marc Anthony sounded really good. His wife,
not so much.
To Jenny's credit, she did sound decent for most of the performance. I was kind of amazed that she wasn't up there sounding like complete shit. Just when I said something about her not sounding so bad, her
voice started cracking and she sounded just like the J-Ho we've all come to know and love.
Latifah eventually switched to a dark blue dress with a blue leather shrug. She was back to looking not so hot. Whoever styled her for this event needs to think about a profession that better suits their talents, whatever they may be. Styling is not one of them.
Kanye West
There was a gospel tribute. John Legend and Mavis Staples sang "I'll Take You There", a song originated by the Staples Singers. John was great, Mavis was a mess. Her voice sounded bad. That segued into Kanye's West's performance of "Jesus Walks". He had a church all set up on the stage, with a dancing congregation in the pews. It worked, it was high energy.
The worst part about Kanye's performance was Mavis Staples. She sang the lead in the chorus of the song and she sounded worse than she did 10 seconds earlier singing with John Legend. Mavis sounded like complete and utter shit and if this is what her voice has come to, she needs to quit singing. I respect what she's done over the years musically, but if she can't do it anymore, she needs to cut it out. She totally screwed up Kanye's performance.
Jesus Walks Interlude
There was an interlude, which was a funeral scene performed by John Legend (I love
him) and a group called the Blind Boys of Alabama. I think that's what they were called, though I'm not entirely sure. They are a group of older black men, who by the name and the dark shades, I presume to be blind.
Then Kanye West jumped back out onstage in a white suit and continued Jesus walks. He ended that with him rising above by the "congregation" with some white wings on his back. It was more than a bit hokey. Still entertaining.
Ludacris presented an award and he looked really nice. He had on a dark suit which could have been anything from velvet to suede, I have no idea, but he cleans up really well.
L.L. Cool J and Nelly were both nominated for awards in the rap category. I thank all that is holy and good in this world that they did not win, but what the hell? Nelly and L.L. being nominated for Grammys? Both their albums are garbage and I could go on, but I'll stop there. Justice was served and Kanye West won that award. Thank God, because if I had to hear him go around whining and crying about being the greatest rapper of all time and not getting the respect that he so deserved, I was going to hunt him down and slap him like the bitch that he is.
He announced that his acceptance speech would be long and he was true to his word. He stood up there and gave the longest, most nonsensical soliloquy he could muster. Okay, some of it wasn't nonsense, but he mentioned Al Bundy, which gives me enough of a reason to call the entire thing nonsensical. He seemed really choked up and genuine and ended it in typical Kanye fashion. At the end of the speech he said, "Everybody wanted to know what I would do if I didn't win", a dramatic pause for effect, "I guess we'll never know." You gotta love Kanye in spite of himself.
Joss Stone, Melissa Ethridge
British singer Joss Stone performed "Cry Baby" in a Janis Joplin tribute. I've always found Joss to be a bit overrated and my thoughts on that have not changed. She sounded really good and she looked nice and it was a really
good performance. Melissa Etheridge was out there for this tribute with her guitar doing her thing. She also had a bald head. At first I thought she was just going for an even more butch look, but Melissa is battling cancer and
recently finished chemo. The bald head does not look bad on her at all and I credit her for making it work and being bold enough to be bald in such a public arena with no shame. She's great.
Janis Joplin's siblings were in the audience and they seemed pleased with Melissa and Joss' tribute. John Mayer performed his hit song "Daughter". It was typical John Mayer performance, him out there with his guitar. I liked it, though I've never met a John Mayer performance that I didn't like, so that may not be saying much. U2 won an award for their song "Vertigo". What would the Grammys be without U2 performing and winning Grammys? I may never know because they also performed last night. I'm not a big U2 fan, so I skipped that one and have no idea how it went.
Alicia Keys; Norah Jones; Stevie Wonder; the lead singer of Green Day; Steven Tyler of Aerosmith; and Slash of Guns N Roses, did a rendition of "Across the Universe" as some sort of tsunami tribute. Even performing with all of these people, A. Keys stood out and stole the show.
John Mayer's "Daughter" won song of the year. During his acceptance speech he said that he never liked the song, didn't believe in the song and still doesn't think it should have ever been a single, but that he would gladly take the award. I loved that honesty.
Usher/James Brown
All night I was prepared for this highly touted Usher/James Brown performance. I was teased with it all night and I really thought it was going to be something special. Near the end of the show, this performance finally arrived. Usher came out in a black suit and hat and performed "Caught Up". He looked really nice. It's a far cry from the blazers with the Adidas sleeves that he had been wearing. It was a typical Usher performance. Sounded good. Great
stage presence and charisma. Thank God for artists like Usher, who can sing and entertain. He is definitely the exception and not the rule and that's pitiful, but moving right along. Usher was dancing, doing splits and back
flips. Very high energy and thoroughly entertaining.
Once Usher was done, James Brown came out singing "Sex Machine" and he was wearing this bright red suit that is probably the suit he wore the first time he ever performed that song. He looked like he got stuck in a way back machine. James' performance was nothing to write home about and Usher pretty much just stood there and played the part of his hype man. They didn't actually perform "together" at all. It was basically Usher actually standing on the stage while James performed, which is kind of not the same thing as them performing together. I was bamboozled, run amock, led astray and didn't appreciate it one bit.
Sheryl Crow came out to present an award and she wore the most atrocious yellow and leopard dress I have ever seen, but at 42, she has a body to die for and she doesn't look a day over 30.
Album of the Year: Ray Charles
Ray Charles won album of the year for his album "Genius Loves Company". I have not heard this album, but I think he probably just won because he's dead. I am not trying to take anything away from his legacy or what he's
done, as he's a musical genius, but I definitely feel that many the sympathy vote was thrown his way because he is no longer with us. I have no idea who won how many awards. I do know that Miss Keys took home 4, Kanye the great won at least 3, and Ray Charles won at least 5. Other than that, I'm pretty clueless. I was way more concerned with the performances than anything else.
Curtains
At the end of the day, I was able to watch the Grammys from beginning to end without being lulled to sleep or laughing hysterically at everything that went on. I thought this was the best Grammys I've seen in a long time and I
think they accomplished what they set out to do. The non-singers, save for J-Lo, were not up there performing, making a mockery of music. It was really good and very interesting. I felt that a loss less awards were televised and
there were a number of tributes to dead musicians and if there was not a tribute there was mention of dead musicians. That was a bit much, but overall I thought it was good and quite entertaining. Latifah did an okay
job as the host and I can't find one real complaint and I won't nit pick and try to find one.
- reported by Keshawnta J.